Casually with fanciful light gestures
A giant bowl full of nothing
But lemons
And limes
Citrus, so **** so sweet
Sat ironically in front of me.

I'm the blonde white girl with nothing but ambition
My bones made up of southern sass, class
We've given up on pondering your actions
You won't ever change
A chorus of hooded goddesses
Breathe in and out
Their nostrils widening and closing
I spit up dust
Watch it wrinkle and curl into the air all around us
I give kindness like I don't own a ******* thing.

My mama ain't so kind
But I guess my papa is
My heart is made of fodder and wild rice
I explained how you caught me in your net
But the words were made of cement.

Reflecting like a picture book
Flipping each moment, word exchanged
Vulnerable suspense
We all. We ALL.
Wanted so ******* much.
Imaginary rings and things
This piece right here
Its dedicated to all of you
And how trapped you made me feel.

5 of my ex lovers have gotten engaged or married this year.

Wilting but not filled with regret
Create. Rinse. Repeat.
Becomes my new middle name
I live for the days where you don't flood through my mind
Any of you.

I laid in my room mates bed
Got caught in the fear of what my future looks like
Am I destined only to be loved by dear women
Faithful to me forever?

Foolish foolish
Could mix it all up in a stew
Brew it and pour it into cocktail shakers
Throw in a splash of blood from unicorns
A sprinkle of elfin mucus
Fairy excrement
And I would still feel the way I feel at this moment.

But leaping over one wall on my own
I date myself.

I let go of the eyes that have stared into mine.

My work screens again tomorrow night.
I'll wear a bow tie and a red grin
I allow myself to be thankful for the hands reaching out to me
I wish you had come over
But I needed to eat cream cheese
Kiss with pale pink lips
And leave like I have always left.

I don't want to run away anymore.
But for now, I still do
But my running has slowed
Because I hissed with love and power
That it was beautiful to.