The first is silent, it is don’t make eye contact, it is the keep walking. It is the sound of pins dropping next to tears and elephants tiptoeing around bodies swinging in the room.

The second is the sound of body parts, of gut, of back, of heart, every time I say I’m ok…today. Everytime I have to say I’m ****** because your an ******* not because I’m crazy.

The third is the sound of crazy, it is the banging behind closet doors, it is the bruising of skeletons. It is the hide your kids, it is the "help this kid" clawing it’s way out of my pride.

The fourth is the broken plastic spilling pills from it’s side, it is the swallowing of the lunch break dose hiding in the bathroom. It is the familiar rattle in my bag.

The fifth is your voice, it’s your “just get over it”, it’s my “why can’t I just get over it”. It is the giggle of my broken brain mocking me. The fifth is the end of the rope, where nooses are grown and bodies swing, trying to avoid elephants.