May 2016
law of karma: energy will repeat itself untill we learn our lesson
I had never been afraid of you before
You were tall and strong
You had always been good to us
But the events of that summer
That were in no way your fault
Had left deep marks within me
I had now come to fear
The man who so willingly
Took care of us
Out of love for my mother
You were 2m10
The sight of you drove me on edge
And then playfully you snuk up on me
Grabbed me and roared
I had never been spooked before
I cried out of the depths on my heart
Fragile as I was,
I lost my trust in you entirely
It was in no way your fault
I barricaded myself in
Registered each scent
So I'd always know
Who is behind me
And even now
I could pick out anyone
Just by scent.
In a flash your face changed in to someone else, who I had come to resent
PTSD is a *****.
The similarities keep piling up.
He was about your size
The scent still haunts me
But what the hell
It really wasn't that bad!
I guess his actions
Spooked me too
And I lost my trust entirely
It was never his fault
My reptile brain screams
While pointing at him
Incriminating him of things
He has never done.
It all makes sense now.
I always knew it was me
Not him
I just didn't know how.
Willingly I clear him of all charges
It was just a game
And I didn't win
And that's ok.
I was never a sore loser
Just in flight
Of the monsters roaming wild
Inside of me.
please forgive me for doing all the things you never understood. Please know that neither did I. With a warm smile, I sent this out to your soul. It was never your fault. I knew it then too, I just couldn't figure it out
I had never been afraid of you before
You were tall and strong
You had always been good to us
But the events of that summer
That were in no way your fault
Had left deep marks within me
I had now come to fear
The man who so willingly
Took care of us
Out of love for my mother
You were 2m10
The sight of you drove me on edge
And then playfully you snuk up on me
Grabbed me and roared
I had never been spooked before
I cried out of the depths on my heart
Fragile as I was,
I lost my trust in you entirely
It was in no way your fault
I barricaded myself in
Registered each scent
So I'd always know
Who is behind me
And even now
I could pick out anyone
Just by scent.
In a flash your face changed in to someone else, who I had come to resent
PTSD is a *****.
The similarities keep piling up.
He was about your size
The scent still haunts me
But what the hell
It really wasn't that bad!
I guess his actions
Spooked me too
And I lost my trust entirely
It was never his fault
My reptile brain screams
While pointing at him
Incriminating him of things
He has never done.
It all makes sense now.
I always knew it was me
Not him
I just didn't know how.
Willingly I clear him of all charges
It was just a game
And I didn't win
And that's ok.
I was never a sore loser
Just in flight
Of the monsters roaming wild
Inside of me.
please forgive me for doing all the things you never understood. Please know that neither did I. With a warm smile, I sent this out to your soul. It was never your fault. I knew it then too, I just couldn't figure it out
The aderanaline boost PTSD patients expirience shortly after an assault, causes the brain to create new pathways that help us recognize danger faster. The brain can in this case set up new strikter rules that will cause us to have the fight or flight response faster. This reaction is a selfprotection strategy born from the fact that we did not see the danger before were assulted so the brain does not sit around waiting for confirmation but sets up new rules for what is dangerous to us, just in case. This causes hypersensitivity, hypervigilance and avoidance.
I'm exhausted!
I'm exhausted!
(Belgium)
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