I'm trying hard to get a higher education
But my grandmother's car can't even get to the gas station
My father's stuck between a rock and a hard place, I wish his job was more stable
He works so ******* hard trying to put food on our old kitchen table
Sacrifice his health and his wellbeing
Just so I can learn and so she can keep living
Her medication costs as much as his canceled vacation
And he says he'll afford the foreign dreams I'm chasing
He ***** it up but I can see the depression flashing red
Almost every night he seems to need a few beers before bed
My sister Ashley doesn't ******* see it
I wish she wasn't so selfish
Even Emily doesn't know
Sometimes I feel like the eldest
Or the wisest, as my dad says
Because I "get it"
Our bond makes it even harder to lie about the cigarettes

I feel like **** for saying it
But I know I'll be okay
I have a second home when the pressure makes me stray
And a third one, while I'm at it, when that drama seems to win
Because while I love my mom, the most stable family's Vin's

Slap my cheek to keep from crying
And level out my head
While it's my grandma who is dying
Lately my mind feels dead