I stay awake awaiting sleep
or a reply.
the door keeps on knocking,
Friends to let the world in
And within my best interest.

I hide as the music plays on
only to answer as they walk away.
I deadbolt the door
only the want of a chime
And car alarms to keep me awake.

I want her to say it's all right
that I go for awhile
I want her to comfort and assure me
that it was a mistake
to leave him and that she doesn't need me.

And I want the guilt to stop rising
Throbbing
As the car doors keep slamming
as the front door keeps knocking.

I started out a friend
from the other side I came calling
And fed my own ends
only to beg for forgiveness
And hide behind my door
that remains unshattered

before I can rest
the porch creeps three times,
then once, sounds of wooden footsteps.
I shut out the light
And see a glow from a message
bury it in the couch
fore there is no happy ending
Only guilt and fear of truth
as the car doors keep slamming.