I don’t know who I am
Without him I am lost
No longer independent
No longer just a “me”

I make myself sick
For several reasons because of this
I can no longer make myself happy
No longer do I find joy.
On doing things on my own

But I can make others believe
I am carefree
Happy and secure
With the days I lead
On my own, without him close to me

On my mind, at every moment,
It’s always him, him, him,
All I want to do is be with him
He is what makes me happy
He is what brings me joy
He is the one I want to be with
I am in love

At least that’s what I tell myself,
But it’s more like
I’m possibly
… A tad bit…. obsessed,
Too attached?

It’s what it actually might be
…maybe

Like a baby to its mother
I must cut the umbilical cord
It can’t be healthy
This obsession
This attachment
This thing I call
….Love

But it’s easier said than done

I want to find myself
In this thing I call “we”
From now until forever
is what we say we’ll be
And I believe it, I really do
It’s just…
…I’m not happy with who I am
With whom I’ve become

I need to be happy and find joy
In things without him and on my own
Find my independence
While still being committed
Because I don’t won’t to lose “us”

you

Where did it go?
My independence I mean
There was a time when I could live
Without you constantly in mind

I could go days and months without seeing you and be completely fine
Now a second goes by in which you’re nowhere close to me and I find myself in tears and begging for your return    

With no end in sight
….although you say there is
Our long distance is eating me alive
Depriving me of joy, of happiness and “us”

I have come to a conclusion that to be happy
I need you…
not far away, but by my side
I love you with all my heart, my soul and every ounce of my mind  

So will you forgive me, every time I get mad, every time I get snippy and every time I sass. It is only because I haven’t seen you, or touched you, or kissed your lovely lips
It’s all I want and all I really need. It is what makes me happy, and you are what makes me, “me”