when I woke this morning
my eyes shot open
and I realized how truly awake I was

a strong desire to fall back asleep
to avoid feelings that have been haunting me

each night my lullaby is a prayer
asking for help
not for me
but for you

it helps me sleep soundly
knowing that God had heard my pleading prayers
because I am helpless in this state

I am ok
I understand that now
that I will be fine
but I worry about you

God separated us so violently
so maliciously
and so carefree

because I needed to truly find myself
to understand my feelings
and my heart

had I never lost you
I would have never found my art
my poetry

it may have driven me into the arms
of a ****** up love with someone else
but now I am so strong

so I pray for you

I pray God is testing you as well
opening up a door you long bolted shut
prying his fingers underneath where I couldn't reach

I wish I could break down this door
but it is a part of you
and I wish to never break you again

I'm sorry for everything
we both know

but I'm not sorry for God's plan
for we can feel it in the room
in our heart's frequencies

I am here
do not be afraid
do not let her make you feel sorry
or helpless
or scared

you told me you do not need anybody
and that includes me
and that is alright

but please get out
I am so afraid for your health
all I want is your divine happiness
and all she is bringing is frustration