Lightning struck tonight
As I left my editors house
The night sky chirped and shone
Its inner most feelings
I tried to snap chat it
But technology failed.

I scrounged together a bowl of ****
Left a little for me and he tonight
We're gonna get grilled cheeses and ice cream
I glance through the peep holes of stained glass
The frame around Marilyn Monroe and pearl
Colored velveteen cupcakes and lost hope
And implementing structure and surreal behavior
As I fold laundry in my gypsy room.

So much has changed.

I'm gonna go back to the hair salon tomorrow
Because I meant for the streak in my hair to be silver.

I've done and seen just about
It all
Sometimes I just wanna cut it all off
In time.

And it makes me remember a flurry of things, emotions
I had the most vivid dream I've had about you
In such a long
It was demented, wrong at the core
You were silhouetted in a windowsill
Urging and purging me with wrongness
And I think about how when the day comes
That our faces and our bodies
Inhabit the same space
I'll wear a gas mask
As your fingers reach for thin air.

I don't know what anything looks like anymore.
My mother and father want me to wear a white man
Live in a little cottage down the street
Bare 3 children
boy. girl. boy.
Just one girl though
More than one is just too much
They would jest.
But, God, how I love them so
And I know I'm so lucky
But I don't listen much.

I wanna read more
Wanna write more
Wanna watch more
All activities that require sitting down
So hard to sit down
Don't sit down often enough
If only I could delete all the extraneous activities
Facebooking.
Waiting.
Walking.
Folding laundry.
Carrying things.
Going to the bathroom.
Showering.
Eating.
Sleeping.
*******.
Hurting.

I would take all those things and cast them into the sky
With a simple twist of my wrist
Just like colorful flames and fireworks
Every negative thought, moment of self denial
I'd watch them all like a colorful maze in the sky

Be something bigger and greater than myself
And all would be so well.