I should fold my piles of laundry
Lately. These days
I find myself thinking and pondering
Fighting with my inner demons.

Beautiful Innovator wants to speak poetry into my ear
Take a night to rejuvenate
Living off of the high of last night
We spun in circles after everyone cleared the room
Threw our own party
My life is beautiful.

Perhaps, I'm in this
Undisclosed
Competition with
Myself.

And thats the doll parts we pick apart.

Sometimes I worry I haven't done enough
That I'm not special enough
Our icons dying all around us
We lift them up, hold their glittering souls
But yet I tell myself
Don't look quite pretty or am educated
Enough
I lack the technical skills, the jargon
Paranoia creeps in
I don't have this
I don't have that
But really.
I've got so much room to slap everything with color.
It shows like an emblem stamped to my forehead
I lock the doors to the house
We can't wait to move out come August
Go 'head be sarcastic *****
Cuz
I keep it clean, motivated, sincere.

I remember laying on blankets in the park
Soaking up the Philadelphia sunlight
Or running through the grass of Alabama
People ask who I am, what I am
Lets not get caught up. Lets not get caught up.
I protect my head and heart
But I would prefer to leave them at the alter.

Can hardly pay attention to this election
Its all become a game filled with gifs and snap chat
Notoriety
My new man's ex lover expressed such interest in me
Midnight and Sunshine laugh for long lengths of time
High five
We figure out our own way to dance.
A collaborator of mine can't collaborate no more
She's going through dark times she said
And I got hint of that before she said so
Cuz her lover posted about it on Facebook.

We reveal our lives
We reveal our souls
I'm still sick
And hung over.

Throwing some shade on a late night train
Though I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it
Fairy queen princess is right
Theres this part of me that just longs
For you all to be here.

Lets not get carried away
I don't dial you
On my cell phone.
Who anymore even is
You?

Maybe I am just another white girl
With a BFA degree.

But I got some worth while **** to say
I allow myself to believe
And my heart is exposed, so open
My mind and my breath can't help but express
I miss who I was in high school
But really she's still so within me
She always was.

We fight
We dance
We line the lights
We glitter like gold
Self care. Give self care. Love.
I stop looking I stop fighting
Enjoying the ride

I can't fully share the goodness with anyone it seems like
But I don't need to
Take note, let it fill you up

Move on.