She took a nap and chose to leave for a little bit
She smoked and smoked and drank until she was fuzzy
She kissed and kissed so her head wouldn't be so loud
She let him inside so she could feel
She use to cut over and over and feels the burn
She wishes to throw up over and over and over because for once my stomach will feel empty
Oh no the my slips out this she is me
I attempt to escape
And in turn the tears they fell when I drank
And now I kiss and laugh as intoxication becomes hallucination
One step further I let myself feel the ache and burn of my muscles I don't deserve ice or pain medicine
I cannot escape these tendencies to hurt myself to punish myself
And maybe this is why I'm fascinated with him
The senior in college who's not over his ex
My poison is allowing myself to be used by others
I cannot even use myself to my advantage
I cannot use my thoughts
My best
Is not good enough for me