I'm slowly learning what hurt feels like
I'm slowly learning what broken is
I'm slowly learning what shattered looks like
I'm slowly learning what you look like
I'm slowly learning who Hope is
I'm slowly learning what alone takes
I'm slowly learning when time really runs out
I'm slowly learning how to crumble
I'm slowly learning what repetition does
I'm slowly learning what tired looks like
I'm slowly learning how to forget you
I'm slowly learning how to walk away
I'm slowly learning lessons and making tally marks on the wall
I'm slowly learning that I've wasted all of my seconds counting them
I'm slowly learning how waiting has beaten me
I'm slowly learning how you have drawn the most blood
I'm slowly learning what beauty is
I've finally figured out how the phoenix rose from the ashes
I'm slowly learning that I am not that phoenix
I'm slowly learning that you were not a fire
I figured out months ago that you were not the moon but I haven't figured out how
I'm slowly learning how people build monuments in the sand
I'm slowly learning how those monuments survive earthquakes
I'm slowly learning that I am not those monuments but you weren't an earthquake and I wasn't built in the sand
I'm slowly learning what rebuilding looks like
When I try it myself, there are still cracks
I've learned that I'll never be quite right again
Falling in love becomes a tattoo whether you put it there or not
Perfect people need perfect people
I need someone else who has broken with the right spare parts
I've taught this to myself like the drill I am issued every afternoon
Every repetition sounds more rhythmic and correct
The glue will never harden
I could never paint over all of the cracks
I've lost some of the pieces that have been chiseled away
I'm not entirely
Energy has been lost in collision
And when I find him, I will find it again