the self inflicted corporal punishment
often preceded by I am sorry to tell you
while bleeding from open raw sore
nerves suddenly exposed,

you say  (like a politician losing) - "I understand"-
while every cell, molecule .... fibre is screaming.
"Yes , certainly, we can remain friends",
as you choke down bile, the spite, ***** words
and swallow them.

Well, I have done that. And after a good mental flogging,
(by myself inflicted) gone on to realize, I
was a gentleman. But, with my right hand I punched
an innocent wall, and the hole in the door attests,
two of my fingers blue and aching bent
forever-

'twas not easy