My chest hurts
My chest feels hot and stiff
I’m having a hard time breathing in and out
My head is pounding

I’m worried to think
I’m thinking about so much
I’m thinking so fast that I don’t even know what is going on in my head
I’m worry about so much
I’m scared stiff

I want to cry and at the same time I don’t
I feel like a child again
I child that is lost
And can’t find their way

The tears are coming down so fast
I want to stop
And when I can finally stop crying
Someone comes along and asks “Are you ok?”
Then I start to bawl again

What is wrong with me?
Help someone
I want help
But at the same time I don’t

I’m shaking
My body won’t stop moving
I’m panicking
If I stop moving something bad will happen
I can’t stop moving
I need to move
I need something to play with
I want to run around
I want to scream
I want to dance
But I can’t

Because if I run off someone will worry about me or get angry
Sometimes I don’t want anyone near me
And other times I want someone to be hugging me
All my emotions are messes up
But one of them is sad
I feel sad and unhappy, scared, worried, angry, confused, stressed out
I feel so helpless sometimes
I want to go somewhere one minute but the next I don’t want to move or go anywhere
I want someone to tell me it is ok to cry
Because that is all I can do right now
Is to move around and cry

My breathing is getting faster and faster
I don’t want to be around people

I’m hiding under the table

No please I don’t want to go up and speak
That is not what I meant to say
I want to let it all out
But I’m afraid at the same time
I can tell you all of it without messing up
When I speak
It comes out wrong

When I laugh it comes at the wrong time
When I smile,
I smile at the wrong time
When I do something or someone says something,
That hurts me
I can’t let go of it
It bothers me for so long
I just wish I could stop

My hands shake all the time
I want to know why

I’m afraid of snapping in front of someone
I’m afraid of yelling or getting angry

When I get jealous of someone
I hate myself for getting jealous of them
And I won’t let go of it

I’m the monster under my bed
I like to hate and make me feel bad
I’m my own bully
I’m all the mean voice inside of my head

And I wish it could all just stop