i fear i will never get that year back, that lying down on the grass that turned into loitering on alleyway fire-escapes and dont you think this town is a little too small for that hahahaha i tried to recreate it, the futility drove me to smoke camels i found on the side of the road, i haven't smoked in a year and i feel worse
i felt a very real grease back then a very real bad quality and now it is just vague, glacous- a night without sleep, a cliffside leap. it has been six months since i sat on a shackled hospital bed
and i dont think i ever really left. my mother threatened to bring lawyers, to halt my detainment and i did leave but i didn't really and i don't think i ever will
this is all because i tried to recreate that year and i failed and i tried so hard but the scalpel and cauterize of live's uncouth events picked me apart, a biopsy to the bone,
accidentally severed my torso and killed me so i linger a downy ghost in a grey colony of moss wishing for better days that are far away and will always stay that way.