With icy crystal clear melting sunshine
She and the wind became one.

One breathing pulsing beating hope, entity.

Replay certain songs that make the heart want to run.

Placing on an eye mask at night to force the darkness of sleep
4 nights in a row now, I have dreamed of them all

And it hit me like the wind swelling and urging me on
Its not just him. I'm not all that angry or hurt at him.
Its the combination, accumulation
The loss of it, of them all.

Dreams reordering and shining a light on things
Too real, too real
I open my eyes as if I am Scrooge
Revisiting the ghosts and realities of my past
I don't have to be so angry
I don't have to ache
I don't have to hurt so much, so deeply
Its part of who I am now
But its not any one thing

And surely thats gotta be the wilting and glistening cherry
To the tippy top of the cake labeled
"Disappointing Love"

Now let us throw the cake away
And feed it to no one.