So much shame.
I cannot Explain.
Walking down the streets of Johannesburg.
Hiding my face from the street lights.
My face is so terrifying.
Tears pouring down my eyes.
I cannot believe the disgrace I have just encountered.

My dear brother.
Right in the face of my Pastor,
A few witnesses.
And maybe some I love dearly.
Such bullets of anger I saw you shooting out.
After bragging about you with confidence
And saying "My brother is super awesome"

And there you are showing your babaric awesomeness.
Something I have never seen in my life time.
What happened to your cool and kindness.
That gentle guy I always talked about.
Today yu were just a monster,
And a good one at it,
That's one thing for sure.

What has this alcohol done to you.
Or maybe that **** that makes u flow in another dimension.
I really had a reason to believe something was wrong with you.
But from what I saw from the eyes of the people that walked besides me.
You just a threw a brick at me.

You were the only best thing I could ever talk of.
At least for a moment up until now.
I had to defend,
Yet not knowing the reason why.

Is it really shame or anger.
I still don't know.
But breaks my heart to still think of this and I find it hard for me to even push it aside.
What happened to me being your 'Ntwana'.
That today you decided to throw a boom at me.