as Alice poured her tears into an ocean
I pour myself into him
I surround myself in his arms
for he is a ghost, a specter, absent of the living
whispering in my head
but the blisters on my feet from dancing with him in my dreams are far too real

raw.

to the boy who is taller than trees and brighter than the streetlight that shines through this distorted glass
making this modern glitch in my room

unearthly, unreal, ethereal, untouchable

a virus of humanity, running in real time
I put my juice boxes into briefcases and hope he notices
the hemlines get shorter
the nights get longer
he passes me in the hallway and I watch him go
I sit 130 feet in the air
a carnival, a ferris wheel

pas de cheval

my mind trapezes to him
I grow weary of jumping through hoops
Is he afraid of heights?
am I afraid of falling?