Inner most feelings leave me in an unbalanced state
complex schizophrenia causes emotional self hate
innate past delusions not learned from harsh reality i sustain
emotional hell i endure of psychosis and paranoia to remain
negative unjust doldrums with no way out to possibly escape
mental anguish causing sleep deprivation in really bad shape 
to rise from this psychotic fall takes every ounce of strength i have
i find a way to adapt a positive attitude and tend to my mind with salve
when the worst of the worst is over a need to survive takes its hold
an ability to live life again free from hurt and thoughts controlled
i seek necessary help to continue my path to process how to heal
inability to comprehend the harsh outlook that felt so real
strength is derived as positiveness that does prevail again
only fear i have is repeating my suffering its just a case of when?