The fondness and affection which I always came to give,
Has now gone away, simply ceases to exist,
My mind is now contained by a deep and heavy mist-
Cant concentrate on others, nothing more I have to give,
My troubles are now amplified as I proceed to live
My sister stopped me grieving pushing to sell my home,
Her deep seated bitterness is apparent in her tone
Making plans behind my back which has caused me much dismay
Her plans of spending money that will eventually come her way
I don’t feel the security of having family now
The sister connection ended and now one I wont allow
Sick of the pretence and conversation hiding what should be said
Her only ability to understand real life came from something that she read
Dad is no longer with this world neither is my mother
Before mum and I could always rely on one another.
I fear the inner dark thoughts that remain from my losses
Morbidly aware we all bare our crosses
its all out of my control which invokes Hatred I feel
the explosion of uncontrollable feelings are real
fine line breaks quickly between love and hate
am I now on the right path written from fate?
past relationships were fickle I falsely gave love to all
ive created a callous inner wall, scared I cant love and alone I feel
only enjoying intoxication to mask what is real
Life teaches lessons that are not written anywhere
Choices decisions and mistakes are ours to bear
Endlessly trying to focus my attention to hope
To remain so strong and continue to cope.