toilet behaviour after a toddler's hernia
by removed.polaroid-scrabble
*indeed the english do not trill their r
but simply curl it
(a bit like having a lollipop
stuck in your mouth and saying
something) - certain feats of elocution
can't be taught, they're a bit like
working out on your forearm muscles in the gym,
and indeed the tongue can be the cynical muscle
defying a methodology of weaving in
a chameleon presence into a host society.*
and do you know what hell i had
trying to teach one of my cats
to piss into the toilet
and take a shit on the tiles?
a shout when she did both on the tiles
and then petting her and ushering in
soothing words while she did
no. 1 into the toilet and no. 2 on
the tiles... i mean shit i can pick up
off the tiles, bleach the area and forget,
cleaning both piss and shit off
the tiles made my gag,
at least human excrement can suggest
it's sweet, and we're all solipsists
liking our own stinks - sound proof -
take your fart into a public place
and the theory will stand about
2000 years that you'll be the sole
appreciator of your own stink -
and that memory of me being a kid,
i used to do the same, take a shit
on the bathroom tiles, and when i finally
started using the toilet at first i was
actually perching on it / crouching on
as opposed to sitting on...
mind you i did suffer from a hernia
when i was a toddler... what's hernia?
well, the mighty internet is here, check it out.