Her parents did not know that once the door was shut, our love came forward
They thought we were just close friends
Just two girls trying to make it through the troubles of high school together
My parents did not know that when I said I had a "project" to work on
It really meant that I was working on loving myself fully with a girl who already loved all of my unfinished parts
Society did not know that we tried to live in the shadows
That we worked on changing so others felt more secure
That we attempted to mold and shape ourselves into this idea of normal but it never seemed right
She did not know that she was not just my moon and sun
But my entire galaxy
The gravitational pull that I orbited around
My chain of stars and planets
She did not know because I never really told her
Feeling that way scared me to my core
I always just told her I loved her but nothing more
I tried not to write about her
She did not know that I stayed awake at night
That all my feelings bounced around in my head and screamed to be let out
That I ached to express myself to a world that wanted to keep me quiet
She did not know that I wanted to die too
That my skin felt the shiver of a blade more often than it felt the warmth of her touch
That I forced myself to stay alive for her
Pushed myself to live each day
I did not know that I would lose her
That she would drift up to the sky and take her place among the stars
That I would lose part of myself
No one knew of our love
They did not know of our struggles to stay grounded
Or our fight to love each other without the fear of losing
But we lost
We lost it all