Lately I've felt like I've been watching my life unfold from outside of myself...
I'm trying to stay focused
But underneath I am so lost
My palms are clenched
My gut is wrenched
I am so pained
I am so scared
I am so angry
But I would never admit it
& I wouldn't let a single drop of it touch anyone els but me
*******
Why must I feel so deeply
Why can't I just let go more easily
Why must I crave the tender touch of another so bad it defeats me...
I can't go on like thing for long..
But I know moments like these for me
Are usually just temporary in the grander scheme
But when they come, oh they come
Like the roar of thunder and vicious waves in my heart
And tears the size of saucers
And all I can do is take it in & not let it take me in with it
I hold on to a song or a poem or a friend
Something i know won't let me forget who I am or where I'm going
And eventually I make it through
I find my way back into my body
I can feel myself again
& I hope that time comes soon...