Wear, we all grow so weary
Blood stained fangs, our Medusa heads surround and cloud me
Hissing and whispering
"He's not for you. He's not for you."
Hung up on mama just now,
Wouldn't stop repeating repeat
Lecturing me
Get a flu shot, forget him, forget him
But the ink of both drugs
Seeped and swept into my blood so deep


Ruined me, my brain
But I can't believe a silly man has that much power
I fight drug addiction to wrongness
While my best friend weeps and cries into her lovers arms
There in 5 days time, thank God
As my childhood best friend prepares for a funeral march
If only, if only
I wish I could lift up all the souls
And we could dine and wine
On nothing but love and height.
Its gonna be hard to be positive and thankful today
Dressed to go run in the sun
A to do list that is every growing
I wanna drink and fade away into the night
But I start a new job tomorrow morning.

But lets take molly Saturday night
My room mate said to me with a twinkle in her eye
I'm down, I'm so down
Friday, Fridays are always the hardest
When I have let you go
I wonder and I count on ten fingers and toes
Though you lack such extreme capacity
You must, must feel the same
Deep within your little tiny skull.

I don't ******' know.
A man I have never met was so agitated with me last night
Because I was too tired to vape and meet up
But send him a sweet text this morning
Use my poetry he said via technology
But I just don't give a flying ****.

I think most of the time I talk to myself in circles
Hoping someone who cares will listen
For the first time the feedback and negative words
They share with me about you
They hit home.

And I can thank every Catholic star of God of Gods
For that
Although my beliefs continue to progress
More loosely.

Sound Operator on set had lingering moments
Of drinking me in through a straw
But I gotta be professional
"Your lips match your eyes"
He said to me as we carried and hustled gear
I wish I knew, I wish I had the education
But I pick up and try to learn as best as I can.

Trailer is a bit too long
Lets make it tight, right
I count down the days on a white board
I think my other room mate hates me
But **** it, **** it all
I say to myself in a sober or drunken state
My heart and brain cares far too much.

So you don't reply, I don't think you will
"He's not strong enough to"
My girlfriends all chime
As our snake heads hiss and sing
Ring, ding, move on along
Bye, so long
Poison you ******* poison
My life and the rotations and evolution
The sweet words I concoct and drink through my own straw
I finally, finally
Take a breath, take a moment
Heal the wounds
Let the ink of the drugs of you
Slip and fade away, removed at last

As I dive into the strong ocean waves.