I'm sorry for being a huge disappointment. I'm sorry for not taking the bullet for you because I thought you weren't worth it. I'm sorry for not trusting you because I caught you red handed with my best friend. I'm sorry you couldn't handle that other men could find me attractive. I'm sorry for not being your perfect girlfriend, for not enjoying the night life as you did. I'm sorry that I have some goodness in me, that I go to church every Sunday. I'm sorry for regarding my moral values as more important than you. I'm sorry for preferring regular chocolate chip cookies to space cakes, for wanting to listen to Adele and not rock. I'm sorry for not being there for you because you told me that you will never need me. I'm sorry for running away from home after you assaulted me, for failing to remove the blood stain off our bedroom wall after you hit my head against it. ...DARLING... I am so sorry For celebrating your death.