i dont remember what i didnt say to you
what i shud have sed
what you told me i forgot to
do
and eventho after the fact
i believe you
looking back
i wish i had the choice to
be right or wrong so that
i wuddnt  have waited so
******* long to apologize
or remember
the look in your eyes
the last time i saw you
or the sound of your voice
on the receiver
your hand and mine
doing the same thing
at the same time
at some point we were both crying
i dont know about you
but i think this admission
is long overdue
you probly wud say thats an understatement
or something actually more clever
and you wud be absolutely right
again as ever
and i wud smile and laugh in spite
of how bad i feel
because i totally ****** you over
when i claimed to be your friend
oh it was so beautiful the way
i did such a hateful thing
to love you and disappear all in one day
despite my pride
my promises to you
your shredded insides
i cuddnt say one thing and do
the same
god forbid i be constant
or have integrity
i am mad at myself
maybe enuff for both of us
but if not
please take this chance
to tell me off