i dont remember what i didnt say to you what i shud have sed what you told me i forgot to do and eventho after the fact i believe you looking back i wish i had the choice to be right or wrong so that i wuddnt have waited so ******* long to apologize or remember the look in your eyes the last time i saw you or the sound of your voice on the receiver your hand and mine doing the same thing at the same time at some point we were both crying i dont know about you but i think this admission is long overdue you probly wud say thats an understatement or something actually more clever and you wud be absolutely right again as ever and i wud smile and laugh in spite of how bad i feel because i totally ****** you over when i claimed to be your friend oh it was so beautiful the way i did such a hateful thing to love you and disappear all in one day despite my pride my promises to you your shredded insides i cuddnt say one thing and do the same god forbid i be constant or have integrity i am mad at myself maybe enuff for both of us but if not please take this chance to tell me off