I lie awake thinking, wondering
where I'm meant to be
Should I stay where I am?
Or leave and do what I want?
I feel so lost here now. Alone.
More alone than I've ever been.
More lost in every way.
I don't want to go back where I was.
It was strangling me. I could no longer breathe.
I had forgotten who I was, or why I was there.
I feel like time is running out
Like I may disappear
That the chances I thought were coming
Will never make it here.
My life has been long
In just a few short years
And I'm tired of fighting the fight
I want to live in a place of peace
For the rest of my life.
A quiet mountain, a horse in the field
A couple of dogs and a goat.
A place to grow my food.
Get up every morning and watch the sun rise over the mountain,
And watch it set over another.
No neighbors for miles, but close to a town.
Quiet. Peaceful. Free.

November 23, 2014