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Dec 2011
I fell into the pattern of forever and always
Forever alone and always looking for someone  to save me
To sweep me off my feet into a world that isn’t available to me and only me
But where is that? Does it exist?
Or is it just the way that falling in love tends to taint every situation into memories
Memories of you and I, memories of every single one of those nights
With different boys, and different girls
I always claimed I had the best of both worlds, but I just think I couldn’t
Stand to limit myself when looking for love
Because I could never find it
Not in the darkest corners of any relationship I had nor the brightest glimpses
The stereotypical fairytale love I was searching for didn’t exist
There was no one to treat me like a princess
But I was determined to be one
In 3 months it’ll have been a year since you’ve been gone
A year since I called you mine and I’ve moved on
I fell in love with a girl with long blonde hair
A giving heart and smile to spare
Someone who just looking at I would’ve turned away so that she was someone
I couldn’t taint
But you taught me that everyone is tainted
That a love lost is a love gained and everyone who makes your heart flutter is fair game
I wish I believed in god and in heaven
So I could pray for you to show me a sign that your as happy as I am
Because that’s why you left isn’t it?
To grow wings and fly around and be happy
Somewhere high off the ground without me
If somehow you hear this know that she’s what you told me to look for
The person who in the darkest moments won’t leave
And when I’m crying, will cry with me
I miss you, but you no longer control my heart
You told me from the start I would have to love myself before anyone could love me
Well, you never lived to see that happen
Because you were so **** unhappy
She set me free
I’m still living in this pattern of forever and always
But now it’s
I’m forever with her, loved always by me
Stephanie Carlson
Written by
Stephanie Carlson
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