"Do you know how much I love you?"
You whispered with such soft intensity
In my ear, as we waited for the blue line
The night of several nights
We wanted, we tried
To hang on,
Redefine
But we could still do our own thing
We said.

I know deep in the fires of the now
That if I was still hanging on
My heart would be dwindling
Even more than it does today.

Moments of such relief, strength
I look around me and I see
That you are not meant to be right by my side.

But today, in the gloomy snow fall
One of my room mates barely talks to me at all
But I don't really give a ******* ****.

I should go exercise
Release some positivity
My right eye still slightly twitching
I wish I didn't long for you so much today.

I wonder if you feel the same
I know, from recovering old poems
This too shall pass.

Cracks in my heels
Sometimes I feel as if I have no purpose
Didn't wanna do dinner with the actor last night
Embracing solitude, no obligation
But ******* I miss you today.

But I release into it, into the wind
Knowing there is a sense of validation, worthiness
I will never fully gain from you
So I stop searching, looking
Acknowledge the gloomy snow fall
And move forward.