i'm sorry i'm not sorry
my well has run dry
i would sell you a sachet of tears if i had any left
i can't cry
cant feel your pain or the things i do
im just so numb to it all
just so numb to
the cigarettes i burn into our seven layered skins
and i feel so hopeless
more then i ever have before
i've become everything i never said i would be
and you would be disappointed if you ever really looked at me
i am
a bottomless pit of self loathing
i am a
starved child
shackled in chains
i will destroy every toy you let me borrow
i will hurt every kid who comes to play
i will spit on every puppy
and ruin every family who ever tries to love me
because this is what i am
and i can't help myself
and
i don't blame you for leaving
i don't even blame my own heart for shriveling up in my ribcage
but
tonight
i have
stepped out of my snakeskin
i am something new
something worse then before
and i am so cold
tonight
and i am so sad
today
my lips turn blue when i laugh
or when i cry tears of madness of happiness?
i can't tell it's all a blur
and
its time for me to go to sleep
(how can i sleep at night?)
and it's time for me to go to sleep.