It is always upsetting to think you've known someone for awhile then realize you don't know them at all. It is even more upsetting when that person is yourself.
My hatred towards these people incinerates my feelings towards the world, bottles up and squeezes itself into a half-pint bottle slowly puffing out the edges until it explodes and slowly deteriorates the container that is supposed to hold my emotions.
The light in my life comes from the small things. Such as the sunshine, when you can experience it not only as light, But feel the warmth as well. The thrill you get from observing fear and terror strike another’s life other than yours. When you can watch it from the comfort of your couch, getting enjoyment from another’s pain.
The chaos inside my mind Only calms when I sleep. My swarmed thoughts are released and I am free.
Much like the rest of humanity, I have an infatuation with escapism. I swim in a lake of navy blue suffocating me until it is unbearable. Other times, I sink into a bed of gray drifting among the weeks not feeling anything - no happiness, no joy, no love - but also no depression. I prefer treading water in misery than my immune grayness.