Just finished my watch.
Two long hours of staring into the emptiness of the world.
Can't seem to find the end.
Can't seem to see the light.
Mind-boggling.
Just finished my watch.
Two long hours of staring into the abyss of my ****** up soul.
Trying to find answers to questions that have been crawling through the cavities of my skull since time immemorial.
Hitting plateaus at questions I try to answer.
Then the sudden realisation hits me like a freight train.
Pointless.
Floating away from the abyss and onto the working parts.
Trying to paint the cerebral walls of my skull with thoughts of euphoria.
Plans of the future.
The feeling is astounding.
Racing through my thoughts.
Feeling every atom of this exhilirating make believe.
Every particle of this blissful rapture.
And then, like an architect that gets a kick, I snap back.
Snap back to the emptiness.
Snap back to the despair.
Snap back to reality.
Logic and reason take immediate action trying to tranquillise me before shock and fear of realisation of this fake reality take over.
Trying to show me that thoughts of the future are dangerous.
And hesitantly, Im obliged to agree with them.
******* ******.