..and we can only give
what we can give.
I opened myself
and handed it to you
in trust
peeled back the layers
of onionskin
as they fell
upon the ground.

My heart,
in shining pieces,
glows like diamonds
fresh from the earth
raw, rough
yet ever-true
pumping blood and lust
giving it so darkly
yet with infinite light.
My heart, yes, my heart
Only this
is what I have
to give to you.

How I wanted
          to catch
the pulses of light
to cup them in my hands
and hold them
like precious chalices
made of fine materials.
Yet they seem to have passed
so **** quickly
along the overhead beams
like a conveyor belt
in a love factory.
How I wanted
             to capture
their flames
like fireflies in a jar
so many points of luster
an inner glowing
up into the realms of faith
of wisdom
of kindness
of pleasure
How I wanted
          to light you up
and be lit from within
for our points of darkness
to meet and explode
as shooting stars
bound for the same orbit
expanding until they could
enfold it all.

Now
it is up to me.
I must calm
the heart and mind
caught up
in turbulence,
storms of inner fires
I must calm the winds
lest my deepest self
blow away
I must save myself
before morning
and let sleep caress
my inner wounds
let the bounds of
lovingness
forgive me
as I forgive myself
for loving.