And then there's you.
Where to even begin?
I can't explain my own feelings towards you, but hopefully I can write about them.
I hate you.
I hate your cutting words.
I hate how they charm everyone and how you can fool them, like you did so similarly to me.
I hate that you broke me, destroyed me.
Yet I can't help but be thankful for all you've put me through, because I am no longer weak and naive to the world. You've given me a taste of what its like to feel wounded.
I hate that I love you. I might still possibly love you. I didn't love you while I had you, but I loved you more so than ever once I left you.
And why? Why should I even give you my love? You don't deserve it, most definitely not. I should love someone who understands me and loves me for who I am, not someone who never accepted me.

Maybe the reason why I am confused is because I am craving love.
Someone who can make my heart beat faster. Someone who can make my palms sweaty. Someone who can make me smile at the very thought of them.
Because right now, my only memories of that include you.
And that is what keeps on bringing me back to you.
God, I hate you.
I hate how you make me feel.