there is a stress ball
in my stomach
that feels pressure
from the vibrations of your phone
and the thoughts in my head
screaming
she doesn't need you
she doesn't want you
you are useless to her
disposable space
kept only to **** time

I could make myself sick
(the way I used to)
with the thought of you
choosing someone else
over me

best friends?
best at ignoring the tension
best at telling exaggerated stories
best at constant comparison

I'm already counting down
the days until the birthday
I'll most likely celebrate
without you
because shiny and new
almost always wins

they think you're the one
who needs her heart medicated
when mine starts to race
as soon as I open my eyes