But then
in a moment
you were an un-
pinned butterfly

like cigarette smoke
chasing the stars

and the scent of you
made my heart
swell

pulsing red with longing
and beating, beating out
our names

I can hear my mother laughing,
as my father washes his filthy knuckles

I remember, the scene of what I thought was love

how she handed him his jacket
every morning
and how he kissed her cheek goodbye

the way slept together
their lungs synchronised
'Breath in, breath out'

and when he gave her the fat lip
because the brandy brand
was wrong

or because his shoes were ruined

I still thought,
as only a girl could

love is not without pain
but pain is not without love