i find myself
standing still
   just standing
and aware of doing
just that
            
i'm blocking
   all feelings
     all emotions
until the anger
slips away
   the sadness
melts into me
all my wrongs
become
   nothing
my rights
   nothing

i
   am
     just
       me

alone

trying to let go
of all feeling
so my thoughts
can blend together
and offer me
                      something

but the sadness
is
overwhelming
i can feel it
grip my heart
and squeeze
until the tears
eventually come
streaming
down my face
and i feel
weak
succumbing
to it
spilling out
all my
agony
and pain
in bellows
of inconsolable
grief

left withering
into a pile
of pathetic
weakness

hoping to awaken
to at least the offering
of new hope.