It’s been 7 months without you
That's 222 days without you here
And each of them has hurt worse than the last

I have learned to live without you
Without your sweet voice
Without your meaningful advice
Without your arms to run to whenever something went wrong

But I will never
Ever
Get used to you not being here

I will continue to look for you sitting in the window of your old house on Bridge Street
I will continue looking for you in the bleachers at my games
I will continue writing you these letters, that you will never read

Rest easy, my sweet grandmother

The one who raised me
In hope
In love
And in faith

You have instilled in me a sense of self worth

You never let me forget how proud I made you
How much potential I have
And how much joy I brought into your life

My best friend, my grandmother

I am sorry for all the times I left you feeling unappreciated
I am sorry for not coming around as much as I grew older
I am sorry for not visiting at the hospital as much as I should have

Not a day goes by that these things don’t haunt me

How unfortunate that you had to pass for me to realize
I should’ve been there more often
Listened more often
And loved more often

But I know you would not want me feeling this way

You have taught me so much
And this is just another lesson I can be thankful for

I will no longer take people for granted
I will always tell people how much they mean to me
Like I did when you were lying on your death bed
And squeezed my hand as an “I love you too”

Thank you my wonderful, kind hearted grandmother
For this awful thing, I was able to find the good in