all i can do
is write about you
how you make me think
how you make me feel
about this world
about myself
about love
all i can do is write
and silently pine
hoping that we cross paths
hoping that we brush skins
and hoping that the marching band
that is my heart
cannot be seen
through this transparent flesh
cannot be heard
over my nervous laughter & words
i must curb my enthusiasm
restrain my my heart
subdue my urges
before i find myself
where i always find myself
spinning out of control
into passionate madness
losing all sense of myself
that isn't drenched in love
recklessly whirl-winding
until i am so far gone
so high up
that i can only see stars
that i can only hear birds
and boy do i live for those feels
i would give anything
to feel something real
something good
something pure
like a new born, or a new home, or a new love.
to feel new again,
to feel me again.

but the thing is.....
when you always hang out in the clouds
what goes up must always comes down
one moment i can see all the world
through rosy love blind eyes
the next moment i am plummeting
right out of the sky
and i hit the ground so hard
i eat the ******* dirt
and hell does it hurt
more then anything ever did
over and over again
and the impact like a meteor
that once shot through the sky
in such magnificent beauty
that people would make wishes as it passed by
left such a massive whole
in the earth
& in my heart
a hole so deep that it would be forever called art
and i am left at the bottom of it
in the darkness of it
waiting for a pair of eyes to see me
waiting for a pair of hands to need me,
to reach me, and pull me back out
of my self-inflicted ruins & heartache
to remind me of how good it feels
to love & be loved again
& sometimes it tempting to stay
in the predictability
and assured stability
of my deep dark hole
but how do you say no
to such sparkling eyes
to such a warm smile
how could you say no
when the hands of love
want to lift you up
i have never been able

they call it falling in love
but that's never really the case
you see falling is what you do
when the love starts to leaves you
you fall from high to low
your pulse falls
your tears fall
your eye lids fall
your heart falls
from your chest to your stomach
where it then turns into a piece of heavy dark coal
that just weighs you down wherever you go
everything you built together falls
but at least then
you are then put in a position
to make yourself better
because with enough pain & pressure
that coal that is now your heart
has the potential to become a diamond
but it really should be called soaring in love
or sky rocketing in love
or floating in love
because that's how it really feels
just always give yourself time to heal
time to shine or unwind
until you feel fine
or the next time you'll be soaring
with damaged goods

yes all i can do is wait
and write
and sit & pine
hoping that we cross paths
hoping that we brush skins
hoping to be born again
& with each time i fail,
it hurts a little bit more
but i know there's still people
who are worth falling for