Thoughts flood
Like the flow of blood
Deep in my veins
I lose the reins
I may wonder
What if the thunder
Hit me one night
Hearing out of sight
What if I had begun
What should not be done
Would I be alive
Would I thrive
No matter how futile
I wonder once in a while
What if I did not surrender
Would I be much better
What if the blade cut
Would it have shut
All these open doors
Would others be there
Would people still care
It is in these stars
I think of all my scars
Scars that cannot be seen
Scars that have always been
Christ has set me free indeed
Yet I still have this great need
Sin remains my fight
Even in the dark night
I have true salvation
But recall the abomination
That once was me
And looking back I see
That growth has taken place
As I tirelessly pursue His face
I cannot claim
That I’m the same
As the one I follow
I’ve my own sorrow
I’ve my own blemishes
Yet He finishes
The faith I’ve been given
Because He has risen
It is in my eyes
That I realize
That no amount
Of inner doubt
No what if thought
Could make Him nought
Even the worst me
Is loved endlessly
No matter how wrong
He makes me belong