Caught a glimmer of joy in his eyes, icy cold
as I left on that bus, he was smiling,
though the memory's quite old and the shimmer has dulled,
it's a full-color framed, out of filing.
Sepia pictures more often I hold
old negatives covered in grime
it's a shame, though foretold, that we're all growing old
with limited space and less time.
Considering self, I'm content on that shelf,
with my picture fresh smile set in stone
just like Walter Mitty, whose lost in a city
of thought, I am mostly alone.
Despite all the charm which my countenance exudes,
these tattered old blinds can't conceal
soft light filters truth from my cheap platitudes
and the good from the dark stuff I feel.
Over there in the closet, a huge bank deposit
I'm saving for something worth while
been trusting the Lord. yet can never afford
that 'single and lovin it' smile.
The clock on wall tells me just where I stand
and it's chime brings the heartache of doom
as the seconds tick by, I can't help but cry
all alone in my heart's old dark room.
Watching my step, I tread deep within
without the desire to save face
I gaze at a skin, done by guilt of that sin
in the light of God's love and sweet grace.
Though my heart is your home I've n'er let You roam
through these passages marked 'Do Not Enter'
they lead to the room where the waft meets the loom
forming poems wherein I am the center.
The fabric you see in that heap seems to weep
burdened down with my aches and my pains
I've asked that you'd heal all this stuff while I sleep
but I wake and the damage remains
Your Spirit reminds me, at home in my heart
how you've taken my sin to the grave
it's your pleasure to clean up, yet I must forgive
and let go of the garbage I save.
Afraid now to look any further for fear
we'll discover the worst yet to come
You tell me to follow, for You hold me dear
since we're no longer two now but one.
Beginning to see how I'd lost all my hope
when I left on that bus in the rain
I forgive him for not being able to cope
without love and the will to remain.
You Lord, my comfort have been here within
you know how my heart is in shambles
You've rolled back the stone, I'm no longer my own
and you smile though my poetry rambles.
So welcome, my friend, yes it's been quite a while
since we've bathed in the sun and run free
got a mind for preserving your beautiful smile
in my state of the heart gallery!
"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
24And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way."
Psalm 139: 23-24