You love me an immeasurable amount.
Not because of who I am, or what I say or what I do,
But because that's just who You are.
And that is so difficult for me to grasp.
Because,
There are people who have barely scratched the surface of who I am or what I stand for
And have written me off as,
"annoying," or "attention-seeking," or "ugly,"
... But you know every detail.
You know my desires that shouldn't be desires.
You know the number on the scale that I've lied, so many times, about.
You know about the hours I've spent critiquing Your creation in front of the mirror, how many hours I've spent tearing myself down.
You know how many times I've chosen the temporary pleasure and the desire to feel beautiful over You.
And because I find Your love so hard to grasp,
I try to create my own security blanket.
"Just in case" I've accidentally derailed myself from the tracks You've set before me.
But then I hear You whisper,
"it's okay, my love."
And then, You wrap me up in Your love and mercy and take me on a detour
Where You cover my sin and You nail it to the cross, You strip me down and I become new.
And I will never understand.
But God, I am so grateful and overwhelmed,
That You love me an immeasurable amount.
And thank God it's not based off of who I am... but it's based off of who You are.