I don't know how to describe the way I feel. All of this doesn't even feel real. I try to take the pain away. I can't even build up the strength to pray. I'm afraid God's disappointed in me. I just want to feel free. The scars I make help me feel okay. They help take the pain away. They make me feel like I've paid my debt. So I don't have to live with regret. Sometimes I just wanna disappear. Someone help me get out of here.