the day i tried to be a hooligan



you see i was being a hooligan back in the 90s oh yeah mate yeah

i was running around belconnen like a raging hooligan

you see i was hearing voices in my head

saying i am a woosey, but i know i am not, i am cool

you see dad was trying to tell me that i was with the wrong crowd

and i hear these voices from my best mate, leave brian alone mr allan

i don’t want to muck with you, i was picking on dad, but he had to call the police

and he put me on medication to ****** calm mevdown

you see i was a wild drinker and my beard was like a hobos

and dad went to his grave not knowing i was trying to be like pat

i don’t want to be like everyone else i prefer to be myself

and dad threatened to throw me out of the house but decided against it in the end

i wasn’t really that bad, i was nice to mum and dad one minute and horrible and wild the next

i ran off to an open pub in  the night to try and grab a good time

like las vegas and blind beggars as well as the hungry horse

i got totally hammered man and i bought one beer home

and sat on my bathroom floor trying to cool person

you see mum worried when she smelt beer on me

and i snapped at her without thinking

i bought 5 cases of the greatest beer and i decorated my flat into a little beer garden

where i can sit and rest

i don’t know why i get cranky oh no, maybe dad thought i was crazy

i say i was crazy, but not anymore

i did a tapestry on my thoughts as i drink to escape the voices

i told mum and dad things like do you like eric boyson and they said quieten down

i partied at the hungry horse drinking 23 beers

and getting really drunk oh yeah that was the life for me

i went to town centre tavern and page tavern and drank $50 worth of beer

i was trying to be like patrick a bit when i bought myself a packet of crisps

i heard my brother come flying out of his house saying what’s that brian

i am mucking around again, you are like mum and dad now brian

i seemed to take my dreaded voices out on poor mum and dad

i threw a rubber spider on mum, she jumped and dad laughed

i made jokes with dad about the pool is losing it’s water

dad said, he has to be on the ball with me

i jumped up and played basketball with the kids

like brendan and bo and josh

and one kid told me to kidnap him, and i said i am trying to drink beer to reform my kidnapper

i rang patrick up at the pub to see if he wants to party

he said no, mainly because he probably didn’t want to go

i was getting drunk with a mate named steve and he was a yeller a mighty yeller

a real crazy person, oh yeah, but some time he was nice, trying to talk me into going to ulladulla with him, NO THANKS

drinking with him was fun back then, but i teased him and that is why he yelled

i was trying to be like patrick when i went to the choirboys concert

and i nearly got mugged but i got away, but i lost everything that night, I WAS CRAZY

i still found it hard talking to mum and dad because i was a yeller

and every time i drank after work, mum said have you been drinking

yeah i drank with some of my mates from north south contractors

stephen and scott, oh yeah, i went back to scott’s to listen to heavy metal, man that was rad,

and the hotdog we ate was great, dude

i joined the bowling league back in 2000, and i was a real party dude oh yeah

i partied with kathryn on the dance floor despite me being tired from my medication

and i bowled in campbelltown and gosford and hornsby and illawarra and went to cheer on the swans oh yeah

you see mate, i like doing things, ya know i like being cool

and with the right medication, i stopped fighting my parents woo oh

i went to the fucken psych ward in 2004 for killing the blasted cat

and i yelled HELP HELP HELP HELP

and finally in 2007 after 38 years, i moved out into a flat on my own and i am enjoying this

and in the end of the year, i got myself a job at LEAD, but i was having mental problems

and in 2009 i was put on seroquel and i visited adelaide for the first time

and i went back to adelaide in 2012, in 2005 and 2012 the mighty swans won the cup

and i went to the carols, you see i was dumb enough to replace the pub with the carols

i got my first every day job in 2013 but it only lasted 4 months, as i chucked all my belongings over the balcony

and sent to the psych ward and placed on a medication order of good behaviour

which means i will go to the psych ward if i don’t take my medication

i am thinking this is great, all i need to take his my medication, and i stay out of the psych ward, cool

and in 2014 dad died and i started a cartooning course as well as winning a duck at my inaugural poetry slam

which is on the third wednesday of each month

i have been going there every month except december, and i read my very own poems

now, i am putting the backings on my tapestries and yeah i am cool

and tonight i can’t sleep having horrible thoughts from my 2 times in the psych ward