Having denied my spiritual side
For so long its very existence becomes suspect
While a worthiness in question
Opens doors to a trail of deception
That takes on a lifelessness of its own
Slowing  not growing
The humanity within myself
That wants to believe
It existed and still resisted
The very thing that was needed
Yet ;has always succeeded
In deflecting
What it was reflecting
As if it was something
You might see
In a funhouse mirror
Distorted and deceptive
Easy prey...for any soul
Willing to be receptive....
...to any negativity--real or imagined
As if ....there is ...
Absolutely no difference
From one to the other
POSITIVELY NEGATIVE
Withdrawing from all contact
Unable to interact
Convinced
That this path
Is the only one
That will lead me to my sanctuary
When in a convoluted reality
Its a lonely road
Always leading me around in circles

Where I perceive
That i achieve
Success
With every loop l make
Convincingly denying
That I've ever been here before

NOONE CAN LIE TO ME LIKE I CAN

Because I  KNOW that I'm lying
And simply refuse to accept it as fact
--------SO------
While the miles keep adding up
Time is the one constant
That denial can't ...
....erase, distort, deny, detract or subtract
A path that goes nowhere
Will always be
An empty, lonely and forgotten road
No loud, cheering crowds to greet you
Once you succeed in crossing the finish line
No satisfied feeling of exhaustion
That normally accompanies
Any endeavor
Worthy of its own inspired revelations

ACCOMPLISHMENTS need to be acknowledged
Or they wither on the vine ...so yes..
...there is noone that can lie to me
Like I can lie to myself

Having denied my spiritual side
For so long its very existence becomes suspect
I've come to the dishearted conclusion
That the depths of the confusion
Exists
In the very illusion
That that  mirror reflected
A totally, realistically  distorted vision
Unworthy of any sincere inspection
As if its being
Primed for rejection
As a portrait of the you that's been
...worldly inspired  
By all thats been desired
All thats been spiritually denied
By the things you once put aside
So now -- to feel totally unworthy
Of any salvation
When maybe --just maybe
I only saw what I wanted to see
Then lied to myself
So convincingly
That I came to believe
That I can only be
What others.....have always ....
Allowed me to  be.