among family & friends
    is when i feel most alone

i laugh when expected
   (sometimes a beat too late
getting a sidelong glance
and questioning eyes)
  i shrug

i want to say
   ignore me
i'm really not here
  
you people don't know me at all
   you
my blood
     my dearest
       and bestest

who of you has taken the time
to really know me?
to unravel my flaws?
to arrange the pieces of my brain
that don't quite fit?

who of you isn't embarrassed by me?
by my strangeness?
and odd behavior?
my silly clothes?
and wild ideas?

which of you truly love me?
not because it's expected
   or required
but because i am just that...
     lovable

i don't need your love
   really
just show me
your acceptance

or leave me be.