Someone collared my best friend, I noticed only looking back
We trade candy canes from her mouth to my mouth
They all watched but no one told me

I feel better with big hands on my hands
on my neck, on my *******

Sweet, sweet girl, they sang
It's time - your daily game
I'll put my hands together
In your lap or my lap
And we'll see who lasts the longest

Awkward Tuesday is not unconditional
They thought I loved them but it's not professional
I just take their money and the candy, and baby
I'm all the lonelier for it

Someone collared my best friend, I know that I wanted to be her
Because he liked it from my mouth to her mouth
I wonder why she was better

I feel better with big hands on my hands
on my neck and on my breast
I'm sure you've noticed

Baby girl, baby child, they sang
Hold on to this, you'll like it just try it
Here's a thing that we could do
In your lap or in my lap
I just want to be there forever

Awkward Tuesday is not unconditional
I really loved them but it's just not professional
I take their life force, their time and the candy
Baby, I'm the loneliest doll
I'm the loneliest girl, doll
I'm the loneliest god