I opened
the door and cringed at my own actions.
The day was bright and most would
describe it as beautiful.

I **** the beauty of the day
with my dark sunglasses and
step out like a nocturnal little beast
being forced from the comfort of his burrow.

I see Poe's Ravens atop a stuccoed
apartment building all screaming
their curses into the wind.
Mad squirrels dashing across
live power lines as worried pigeons
cooed their concern.

Cars pass and all I can smell
is cheap laundry detergent  
dog **** and fuel beneath it
all the tickling scent of the salted sea.

A girl leaned against a wall
staring at her bitten down nails.
Her mismatched clothing and dyed close
cropped hair almost blended in with the graffiti .
I passed and I think she called me
lover .

The tall proud palms looked down upon
me as I avoided the cracks in the sidewalk.
I tried my hardest not to turn around and flee
back into the safety of my darkened room.

There's a group of daytime drinkers
angrily smoking outside the bar.
I instinctively reach deep into
my pocket and caress the buck knife
as I pass through the drifting
tobacco smoke .

One guy spits and another guy
toes the sidewalk with the tip
of his work boot.

I concentrate on their actions .
I don't care about their faces .

I'm just trying to move through the world like dust.
Hitching a free ride on the winds produced
by the passing cars and the passing memories.

I curse myself for fooling myself into trusting another day.
for I've learned that only the night forgives .
Only by the light of the not so distant
stars and not so distant moon
does this world truly appear inviting.