First She walked out And I had to learn That I was a coward An orphaned lover An old house cat Abandoned In a grocery store parking lot I had to face it again The emptiness I smoked all of those nights Away I was numb I was nothing I lost 30 lbs in 2 months Then it all caught up with me One night my heart started beating Rapidly I couldn't breath Started to shake I sat in a corner and watched The room grow ten times it's size I heard a static crack in the ears I was lost and unhuman I was a rabid dog trapped in a corner I felt sick for weeks after So I gave up the *** Switched to drinking Whole bottles of whiskey 128 lbs, shirtless, screaming The fellas laughed at the beginning Until I started throwing **** Trying to fight everybody, anybody I had 3 new catch phrases "I'll ****** **** you man" "I'll smash all your ******* teeth in" "I've seen it all man." After a while it became Too much for the fellas And soon they were all gone So I found better company Dostoevsky, Fante,Bukowski,Hemingway, Hamsun,Lorca,Sartre, etc. I found a ****** apartment in San Pedro Drank beer and read every night Until the loneliness felt comfortable And then I Accidentally Became alcoholic Then i took my wild act To the streets A few weeks ago I was at a concert And this guy kept elbowing me In the ribs I said "If you keep sticking that elbow To me, I'll ****** **** you man." I said it cool and soft And the guy looked real scared And I was too So I had to quit drinking... I keep thinking about Zarathustra Rising from his cave After years of solitude... A guy at work said "November's almost gone Man, this year just blew right by" And I thought 'Good.'