In bed for hours
Dreaming of death
But I'm not asleep
These are the thoughts that fill my head

And I don't pray
Except to maybe find that day
Where I can finally stand up
Grab that gun or grab that knife
Put to my head or wrist
And scream "**** this life"

I'm not afraid to die alone
That's how we came
That's how we'll go
I'm afraid to live a long time
Surrounded by my demons
Praying to your god
That this'll be my final season

What's a life that's nothing
But torture and pain
Killing you inside every **** day?
I have died so many times
In my own mind
Wishing I'd wake up
Soul free, body dead
Wishing life had a purpose
Aside from that awful cycle
School, debt
Work, then death

Happiness doesn't exist
You live hoping there's more to this
That one day God will take your soul
And you'll look down to have met your goals
But tell me what is happiness
You settle for ****, then claim you're set
Yeah maybe it'll get better
Or maybe you learn to hide it better

So until the day I find my grave
I'll die inside until I'm saved
And you can pray for me to help yourself
But your god doesn't know me
Cause I'm already dead